Comparing Bill and Edward
by LiteratiLady
Summary: The Cullen family goes to Bon Temps to visit Bill Compton. Bella and Sookie end up having a Vampire Boyfriend Contest and an argument at Fangtasia. Random story that I came up with.


**Comparing Bill and Edward**

**Premise: Sookie Stackhouse and Bella Swan have an argument over whose vampire boyfriend is cooler. Canon pairings. (Sookie & Bill. Bella & Edward). Set in between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn of Twilight Saga and middle of Season One of True Blood. Meant to be a random funny story and not taken too seriously. Italics are Bella's thoughts. Slightly changed ending. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own True Blood or Twilight**

Bella kissed her cold vampire boyfriend, Edward, once more. Edward finally and lightly pushed her away.

"I have an idea." Edward announced but Bella clearly wasn't interested.

"Is it going back to my house?" Bella enquired in a perky manner and Edward shook his head.

"We should go on a vacation." Edward decided and Bella groaned. "What? It's the last day of term and we have two weeks off. Let's go to Louisiana." Edward announced as they walked back to his Volvo in the parking lot.

"That's what honeymoons are for." Bella complained as she got into his shiny silver car. Edward started to drive towards her house as they always did.

"No, this is what holidays are for." Edward retorted and Bella sighed. She clearly had other plans for their holidays.

"I don't know if Charlie will let me go." Bella said and Edward remained silent.

"I have excellent methods of persuasion. I want you to meet a good friend of mine. His name is Bill Compton and I hear that he has a new lady who I'm sure you're going to love." Edward explained and Bella rolled her eyes. Once they had reached her house, Bella jumped out of his car and went inside with Edward, following closely behind her. Charlie clearly wasn't home yet but he should have been. Bella picked up the newspaper and turned to the weather page.

"I knew there was a bad idea to go to Louisiana." Bella announced out loud and Edward looked over her shoulder at the weather page. "It's sunny there and it's the middle of summer. Are you insane?" Bella complained.

"Vampires are roaming around with human citizens at night in Louisiana. They have 'come out of the coffin' so to speak." Edward explained.

"If the Volturi have a fit about you walking around in broad daylight in Rome because you glitter a little, what is going to happen when they hear that you do the same in Louisiana? We may as well be going to Phoenix to visit my mother." Bella continued to complain but Edward refused to give up. At that, Charlie Swan, arrived home. He had gotten used to Bella and Edward being in his house but there were rare occasions when they were outside of Bella's bedroom.

"I just think that this is a bad idea." Bella told Edward and Charlie obviously overheard this.

"What's a bad idea?" Charlie enquired and Edward turned to face him.

"I'm thinking that Bella and I should go to Bon Temps, Louisiana, with my family. We have some good friends who have just moved up there and I think Bella would like them." Edward explained and Charlie agreed.

"I think that's a great idea. When would you leave?"

"Tomorrow afternoon." Edward announced and Charlie was surprised at how soon that was. "Well, I think I'll be going back to my place and leave Bella to pack. I'll be around to pick her up in the late afternoon. It doesn't take very long to get there." Edward left the house and Bella sighed out loud in irritation as she got up to cook dinner.

Edward arrived in his car and picked up an annoyed Bella Swan. Edward, however, was determined to make Bella enjoy herself. Bella dragged her heavy suitcase out the front and down the couple of steps to the car. Edward placed it in the boot of the car and watched Bella and Charlie share their goodbyes. Bella and Edward got into the car and they headed to Edward's house.

"Please promise me that you'll cheer up. I'm sure you'll love it in Louisiana." Edward looked over to Bella who simply nodded and smiled a small smile.

"I've never even heard of Bon Temps." Bella stated.

"I'm sure they've never even heard of Forks." Edward retorted as they finally reached his large white house. Edward led Bella to the house where the entire Cullen family had arrived to greet them. Alice was the first to step forward and hug Bella.

"Bella! I'm so glad you're coming!" Alice hugged Bella hard before going back to stand by Jasper. Jasper nodded in agreement at them both. Rosalie smiled a small smile at her as well. Emmett tried not to crush Bella as he attempted a hug with her. Bella got the message though and giggled quietly at him. Carlisle and Esme were as affectionate in their greetings as Alice was. The vampire family gathered their few belongings and left the house. Bella noticed that they had started to climb the trees and started to swing from branch to branch. Bella looked at Edward nervously as Edward swung her on his back, after chucking Bella's large suitcase to Emmett. Edward followed suit and started to climb the nearest tree. Bella closed her eyes and held on for her life.

"Open your eyes!" Edward yelled and Bella did as she was told before screaming. Bella shielded her face from the strong winds that were passing by as they swung from tree to tree.

Once they finally reached Bon Temps in Louisiana, it was well after dark. The Cullen family arrived at Bill Compton's house. It was also a large older house that had significantly less windows than the Cullen home. Carlisle knocked on the door and a pale vampire opened the door. He and Carlisle shook hands before the other vampire greeted the rest of the Cullens. Bella suddenly felt very nervous about meeting this vampire, when he reached Edward.

"Hello there Eddy! How are you doing?" the vampire shook hands with Edward and turned his attention to Bella.

"Bill, I want you to meet Bella Swan. Bella, this is Bill Compton." Bella and Bill also shook hands and Bill suggested that they all go to Merlotte's.

"My girlfriend, Sookie, works there. I thought we'd pick her up and all go to Fangtasia. Bella, I'm sure you'll like her." Bill fell into step with Edward and Bella walked along with Alice on their way to Merlotte's. It wasn't very far away from the house. There were a few other vampires wandering around Bon Temps drinking some strange red drink. They finally reached Merlotte's which looked very busy. Everyone was eating burgers and fries and seemed to be a very Southern diner. Bella had picked up that everyone had a Southern accent and this irritated her greatly. Bill led them all to a large table and caught the attention of a young man at the bar in a flannel shirt. He pointed out the family of vampires to a pretty blonde waitress who immediately came over. She held out a pad of paper and pen in front of her.

"Hi Bill. Will that be a bottle of O Negative for you?" She said in a heavy Southern accent. Bill nodded and introduced everyone to her.

"Sookie, this is Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward and Bella. They are the Cullen family from a small town called Forks. Everyone, this is Sookie Stackhouse. We were thinking of after your shift, we'd all go to Fangtasia." Bill suggested with a smile on his face. Bella noticed his lack of fangs and wondered if his teeth were so strong that he didn't need them either.

"Nice to meet y'all. That sounds like a great idea. Will that be O Negative all around?" Sookie suggested and the Cullens looked at each other awkwardly.

"What does she mean?" Carlisle asked Bill.

"Well, ever since vampires are now walking around with fellow humans, the Japanese created this synthetic blood called True Blood. It has all the necessary vitamin requirements as real blood but without killing anyone. How do you guys get by without killing anyone? I think we'll all have O Negative." Bill explained and Edward turned to Bella.

"Are you hungry, Bella?" Edward enquired and Bella ordered a burger and fries. Sookie seemed excited to find that she was a human dating a vampire as well. Sookie left to go get their drinks and returned rather quickly with the same red drink that they had seen other vampires drink earlier. The vampire family sipped at their True Blood with intrigued expressions.

"That's not bad." Alice decided and everyone giggled.

Later that night, they reached Fangtasia. The black and red neon sign read 'Fangtasia' and there was a long line of vampires and the occasional human lining up to go into the club. Edward whispered to Bella to get her identification card out, which she quickly did. They showed their IDs to a pale vampire dressed in black and chains. He allowed them to go inside. The nightclub was also red and black with lights everywhere. Vampires were dancing and drinking True Blood. Bill led them to the bar for more True Blood. Bella was surprised to find drinks that humans would drink such as soda. Bill pointed out two other vampires that were on a raised platform and watched over everyone. Bella shivered as she looked over at them. One was an older looking woman and the other a younger man who seemed to possess more power.

"That's Pam and Eric. When they want you, there's no avoiding them." Bill led the other vampires into the dancefloor and started to dance. This left Sookie and Bella alone at the bar.

"So, we're both humans dating vampires. Isn't that exciting?" Sookie said excitedly with her strong accent.

"Not really. What's Bill like? Does he have fangs? He didn't seem to at Merlotte's." Bella enquired.

"The fangs pop out like a rattlesnake. He is such a gentleman. He has this great sense of hearing." Sookie swooned as she watched Bill in the crowd and seemed to avoid looking at Eric and Pam. "What about Edward?"

"Well, he's pretty much a gentleman as well. He can fly and he can hear people's thoughts. The Cullens don't have fangs. They kill animals and drink their blood instead. We don't have True Blood back in Forks." Bella explained in a nonchalant manner.

_I don't want to be here. This place is scary and that Eric guy is freaking me out. I want to go home. Sookie's accent is so annoying._

"Eric freaked me out as well at first but you know, he's not that bad once you get to know him." Sookie accidently slipped out and Bella almost glared at her.

_That's kind of lame that they have a blood drink when it's much more exciting to drink actual blood from humans. Who needs synthetic blood? These vampires could learn a thing or two from Edward._

"You know that the True Blood drink has made a huge difference in our society and culture here. They really should start selling it all around the world. There's nothing to fear from vampires. Vampires here can't touch silver as it pierces their skin and drains their blood." Sookie explained and Bella nodded as she drank her soda.

"We manage to do just fine back in Forks." Bella stated. "Can Bill go out into the sunshine?" Bella enquired and Sookie shook her head.

"No, he'll burst into flames and die. We'll have to head back before it gets light." Sookie explained and Bella laughed out loud. It was Sookie's turn to glare at Bella. "What is so funny, may I ask?" Sookie asked Bella who continued to laugh.

"Edward _can _go out into the sunlight except that he glitters like a diamond. It is so cool that you'll have to see it. The Cullens don't need to sleep ever. I can't wait to become one of them." Bella shouted over the loud music. "It's such a cliché that he can't go out into the sunlight." Bella continued to laugh and Sookie stared at her fit.

"Well, Bill sleeps during the day and doesn't need to eat animals. What a joke!" Sookie stood up to face Bella. "Your vampire boyfriend doesn't even have fangs! What does he have, super strong teeth?" Sookie shouted and Bella nodded. "That's pathetic!" Sookie stated.

"Edward isn't pathetic. He's a strong vampire who loves me and doesn't suck my blood." Bella shouted and Sookie seemed confused.

"How do you know that Bill sucked my blood?" Sookie enquired and Bella pointed out the mark on her neck. Sookie blushed as she covered the bite mark with her hand. The Cullens and Bill returned to the bar to break up the fight.

"Just face it, my vampire boyfriend is better!" Bella shouted and Sookie laughed it off.

"You sound like a high school girl over a crush." Sookie shot at her.

"I am a high school girl!" Bella shouted back.

"Bella!" Edward's voice was heard throughout the crowd. Bella and Sookie turned to see Edward and Bill facing them. Bill gestured for them to follow him. They walked through the crowd of vampires and up onto the platform where Eric and Pam were.

"Bill, who are these other vampires and humans that you decided to bring along?" Eric enquired.

"Well, you know Sookie Stackhouse. These are the Cullens from Forks. They are a different type of vampire. This is Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Edward and Bella." Bill introduced them.

"So, Bella and Sookie are the emotional humans, right?" Pam stated and Bill nodded.

"Tell your human friends that Vampires are all unique in their own way. However, I've never heard of vampires without fangs before." Pam and Eric laughed out loud at this and everyone noticed their fangs popping out and replacing the eyeteeth. Sookie had seen this before but it disturbed Bella.

"We'll leave now." Edward told them and Eric waved them away. Once outside of Fangtasia, Edward turned to Bella.

"What's going on? What happened in there?" Edward shouted, demanding information.

"I think it was a Vampire Boyfriend Contest." Sookie said out loud. "I hear that you can also hear people's thoughts." Edward nodded at this.

"He can't hear mine." Bella mumbled quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

"That's funny, she can't hear mine either." Bill announced and Bella glanced at him sympathetically.

"So, a truce?" Alice asked and Bella nodded.

"I'm sorry." Bella told Sookie, who smiled.

"I'm sorry too." Sookie linked arms with Bella as they walked back to the car. Everyone followed suit in the dark.

"Is it true that you guys don't have fangs?" Bill asked and the entire Cullen family nodded. Bill doubled over with strong laughter just as Eric and Pam had done before in the bar. When he straightened up, everyone noticed that his fangs had also popped out.

**A/N: So that was a completely random story that I came up with. It probably could be better but it was fun to write. Writing Fanfiction is one advantage to being sick and staying home. I hope you enjoyed it and please review. **


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